untitled (ang kwento ng aking unang pag-ibig)

"mahal din kita .... pero hindi pwede ... !!! hindi pwede !! im old enough for you !... i am also qualified to be your mother, Aaron !! i'm sorry .. i have to go ..."

.... ouch right?  .. 

mga katagang sumugat sa aking puso at nag iwan ng napakalalim na pilat sa aking pagkatao ..

and every time i remember those lines, i feel a certain loneliness inside me..

because i love her..

so much ..

minahal ko sya ng higit pa sa paborito kong aso na si 'batman'.. 

mas mahal ko pa kaysa sa DOTA..

at mas mahal ko pa sya kaysa sa buhay ko ..

.. hindi ko alam kung bakit at paano ko sya minahal ng sobra.. aside from the fact na mas matanda sya saakin ng tatlumpung taon.

minahal ko sya..

sa totoo lang, minahal ko na sya noong pitong taong gulang pa ako.. nung araw na una ko syang nasilayan.. 

sa parke ..

"hello ? ^___^ nasan mama mo?? bakit nag-iisa ka lang?? hmm gusto mo ng ice cream?? o.... hotdog?? wag ka ng umiyak, ok?? hahanapin natin ang mama mo .. ang cute cute mo ^________^ .. ako pala si tita miriam.. c'mon .. "

>//////<

sweet noh?? haha!! tumigil ako sa pag iyak noon.. ang ganda kasi nya.. hinanap namin ang mga magulang ko .. at nahanap naman namin.. 

Sya si Miriam ( gaya ng sabi nya ^__^ ).. ang minahal ko ng higit sa labing-tatlong taon. ang dahilan kung bakit ang sugat sa puso ko, hindi na kailanman maghihilom.. at ang dahilan kaya ako nagkukwento ngayon. ..

EVERY love story , as they say is always ended up with a happy ending . A happily ever after.. but in my case, my Love story ended up in a broken heart. a tragedy... 

nalaman ko na lang isang araw, hawak-hawak ko sya ng mahigpit habang dumadaloy ang dugo sa kanyang katawan.

to cut the story short, she didn't die. kala nyo!! ^___^

but though, she didn't get back to normal after the incident. 

nabaliw sya??

hope so .. >.<

pero hindi ..

a lot worse.. 

minsan nga, hinihiling ko na sana, nabaliw nalang sya..

na-coma??

para sa akin sya..

i'm pretty sure, mas maaalagaan ko sya.. at mauuna sya.. 

mas matanda kaya sya saakin! >.<

but of course, that would be so selfish.. 

i only want her to be happy...

My Other Half

"True love is a bond that won't break, no matter what the challenge. Its the bridge to our future and the the door from our past. Its togetherness, when separation could always be an option. Its never giving up on each other and the love that we want to last."

***

I love this poem made by a good writer Donna Fargo entitle "To my One true Love". 





Every time I read those line, I feel certain joy in my heart.. 









I want to share my story about my one true love.




















He's just a jerk! 





yes,  definitely a handsome jerk but I love him..





I love the way he touch my waist behind my back, the way he kisses and hugs me whenever I'm angry and simply whisper "I love you". 






I remember telling him my feelings and he just shrugged his shoulders, turn around so that I can't see his teary eyes. 








I love him so much! he's my other half.




















***




His name's Migs.





I met him at their place together with my so called friends. 


Mabigat pa nga loob ko nun kasi naman, ako lang walang partner in short, OUT OF PLACE! 






all of a sudden lumapit sya, he offered his hand for a handshake..






I'm a little bit shy and a little bit snob that time. kaya tinignan ko lang kamay nya. big hands, actually. 






dumako tingin ko sa mukha nya. seryoso! kaya ayun, kesa sakmalin ako inabot ko kamay ko. and oh my, its warm. and our hands perfectly fit. natulala tuloy ako. how come a big hand fits on my small hand? 



dun sya ngumiti. 




^________^<----- eto sya .




real smile na umabot pa sa singkit niyang mga mata. 








After that, we became friends. 





we shared stories about our childhood experiences. 





gusto ko syang kausap dahil umaapaw ang kanyang sense of humor. 


napapatawa din ako sa mga pagkakataong napapakanta ko sya. 


take note: SINTONADO! 




but he doesn't care, I didn't care either. he loves to sing, so be it. besides, gustong - gusto ko din namang naririnig boses nya kahit na dumudugo na ang tenga ko.

Until one day, he confessed his feelings. he told me he's falling in love with me. 



sabi ko naman..




"lahat ng nahuhulog, nababasag."


"handa ako." sabi niya.




guess what, I said "yes!" with dreamy eyes and in-erasable smile. *________*









***





we became lovers. 



first months, 



second months to seventh months, 




it was sweet. 



he was sweet. 





very sweet.








 kahit siguro chocolate matatalo sa tamis ng aming pagsasama. 







naging matibay ang samahan namin. .. well iI thought  it was strong.










1day, pinuntahan ko sya sa pinapasukan nya together with my friend Jane.



 naghihintay kami sa may bench ng may biglang nagsalita sa likod namin.



"BF mo?" aniya kay Jane.


"ung lalaki sa computer shop."pagpapatuloy pa niya. mabilis namang umiling si jane at itinuro ako


"Siya ung girlfriend!"



I know something wrong so I lied.



 "hindi. kaibigan lang namin sya. may sasabihin lang sana kami kaya kami narito."

"he's cute" anang babae. "I like him. ako nga pala si Lanie"

sabay abot ng kamay niya. I reached her hand for handshake.

"ako naman si Catherine. and this is my friend Jane. anyway, we have to go. marami pa din kasi kaming gagawin. nice meeting you Lanie."


sakto namang papalabas na si Migs sa pinapasukan niya.


"Doon nalang tayo mag-usap.!" sigaw ko.


I don't know what made me lie to this girl but I feel that there's something wrong sumunod sakin si Migs. then suddenly, I heard something that forced me to look back. Si Lanie






. "Migs! mahal kita! mahal na mahal kita!"







she break down.





naawa ako.





nalito.





tinitigan ko si Migs. he looked down, took my hand and pulled me away and whispered..






 "she's nothing."






after that incident, lumamig ang samahan namin. 



I don't want to confront him and I've waited the day na sya nalang mismo ang magsabi sakin.



sino ba si Lanie sa buhay niya?



bakit ganun nlang ung naging reaksyon niya?



 days passed. lots of days passed.



 a week.



a month.



hindi ko pa din siya mapiga. 




so I make my move. 





I visited Lanie at their house. 




doon ko nalaman na matagal na palang me relasyon ang dalawa. 






umiiyak sya sakin habang sinasabing mahal na mahal niya si Migs. 





she even confessed that she gave everything to Migs.






 I mean EVERYTHING!.

Umuwi akong nag-iisip. 




malalim na pag-iisip. 





it got me thinking that I didn't give Migs EVERYTHING.




yes, I gave my heart. but that was it. 




I didn't give him what he wanted. 




what truly man wanted. 





I called Lanie.

 "You can have him. 1 month. his yours. make him yours. make him love you. not for what you can give. but for who you are. hindi ako magpaparamdam, even if it kills me and when the month comes and you have him, I'll set him free."

"Pag hindi ko siya nakuha?"

"Maybe its time for you to give up. set him free. I mean marami pang ibang lalaki na mas deserving sa'yo. hindi ung gan'to. and i want you to get out of our lives and don't ever come near him ever again."

"Deal".

Time flies so fast.





natapos ang isang buwan, she lost the game.






ako pinili niya.




ako ang mahal niya! *u*






then I heard that she left their place. 

tinupad niya usapan namin.everything back to normal after that. 

hindi niya nalaman ung deal. perhaps not until now. maybe he knows, maybe not.







mas tumibay ang samahan namin. 



nagtiwala ulit ako sa kanya ng buong - buo. 









one night, I gave myself to him. 



with him, I became a woman. 




its a great feeling having someone who kiss you in the forehead whenever we see each other. 



calls you at night when your lonesome. 


someone who wants to see you smile everyday. 


with him, I experience true happiness. 


Its not a big laugh or tears of joy. 



its just a simple smile on my face whenever I remember that good things we've shared. 






now I can tell that I am completely in-love with him.

JUST like the weather, nauuso din pala sa LOVE ang climate change. 


ngayon, maaliwalas ang paligid. 

masayang ngumingiti si inang araw. 

then for a moment, didilim and paligid. 

lalakas ang hangin.




I enjoyed rain when I was a kid. 

masaya kaming naglalaro sa ulan. naghahabulan, nagtatawanan. 

so I went out. 

I spread my arms and welcomed the rain.





hindi ko namalayang me paparating palang bagyo na sisisra sa maganda at tahimik na lugar.

bagyong mas malakas ang hagupit kaysa sa mga dumaang bagyong undoy at bagyong peping. 


I got lost. 


nanghihina ako. 



lumuha.









yes,



he cheated on me AGAIN.

this time, mas malala.

mas masakit.

mas malalim.



nalaman kong nakikipagkita pala sya sa taong buong buhay ko pinagkatiwalaan ko - my bestfriend !



He confessed that they've shared in bed. 



same place. 




they betrayed me! 






of all people, ung mga taong yun pa ang mananakit sakin!.








I cried everyday. 


every night. 




I've been so lonely and depressed after that. 



I can't eat!. 



I can't laugh!. 



I can't move on... 









Once in my life, I have only one wish.. 



to be with someone who'll love me more than him self. 



who will accept the worst in me. 



who would see me beautiful whenever I'm at my ugliest, 




but my dreams are all shattered! 



because the only man I'm dreaming for is the one who killed my heart... 






he promised me the world. he promised me everything. but me? I promised him nothing. 






but I give him everything.

***

We parted ways.


umalis ako samin. 



lumayo ako sa mga tao at bagay na makakapag paalala sa kanya. 



Pinilit kong ibalik ang dating ako. 




unti- unti, naghilom ang sugat sa puso ko. 




I learned how to laugh again.








thanks to Sherwin.



nakilala ko sya nung mga panahong kailangan ko ng karamay. 


pinulot niya ang pira-pirasong puso ko. 



I didn't asked for it. but he give me everything a woman could asked for. 



natuto akong magbukas ng pinto ng puso ko dahil kay Sherwin. 




at hindi ako nagkamali. 



sa kanya ko nahanap yung pagmamahal na hinanap ko noon kay Migs. 






yung ako lang. 





binigay nya kahat ng makakapagpasaya sa akin. 





binuo niya ulit ako. 



naging masaya ako sa piling niya. 




nalaman ko ang totoong kahulugan ng pagiging kontento.








One day, I got a cold. inalagaan niya ako magdamag. 



he didn't leave my side hanggang sa gumaling ako. 







the morning I woke up, I cook breakfast for him kahit ayaw niya. 


i Insisted.  



gusto ko kasi siyang pagsilbihan. 




He left after eating breakfast. 

mahihiga na sana ako para makapagpahinga nang may kumatok sa pinto ng apartment ko.




"Hmmm... baka may nakalimutan pa sya." anang ng isip ko.






I opened the door. 










O___________O 









umurong bigla ang dila ko. 






shocked flooded my face as i gaze at the man outside my door. 





I realized then that I missed him. 




I miss his eyes and the way he looked at me.




I miss his smile and the lips that once touched mine. 




I miss his hugs. 


oh I miss this man! 







bumilis ang pintig ng puso ko . 




bumara ang hangin sa lalamunan ko at hindi ako makahinga..















"Happy Anniversary Princess. I missed you so much. I lost my life when you left. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. naging mahina ako. I love you so much. I love you forever."

para akong naparalisa nung niyakap ako ng lalaki sa harap ko.




 mahigpit.



matagal.



umiiyak.





nagsusumamo.













suddenly, I truned to my senses.. 




tinulak ko sya. 




I shut the door and shouted 




"GO AWAY!"









wala akong narinig na pagtutul mula sa kanya.





"GO AWAY!!!"ulit ko. 








narinig ko ang pahugot niya ng malalim na paghingan. 


sunod ko nalang na narinig ang papalayong niyang mga yabag. 



para akong kandilang unti- unting naupos. nag uunahang tumulo ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilang lumabas.










I hugged myself tight. 





hinayaan ko nalang maubos ang mga luha ko.




nabinat ako.




lumala ang sakit ko.








this time, ayokong mahalata ng mga taong malapit sakin ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. 




I cried when i know nobody's around. 



nagtatanong ang puso ko kung bakit kailang limot ko na siya. 



saka pa siya magpaparamdam. 






bakit kung kailan pakiramdam ko buo na ulit ako, mawawasak na naman.








I realized then that I didn't really forget him including my feelings for him. 





akala ko nawala na ito sa mga araw na nagdaan




mali ulit ako.









as days passed, my heart longing for him.




naalala ko ang mga masasayang bagay na pinagsaluhan namin.




hinahanap ko ang mga halik at yakap nya.




hinahanap ko ang bawat sambit niyang mahal ako.





naaalala ko ang mgapagkakataong nagagalit siya if I did something stupid.




mga pagkakataong napapakanta ko siya.




mga alaalang gusto kong maramdaman muli.





sa piling niya.


sa taong buong buhay ko minahal ko.











natatakot ako. 




kasi ang inakala kong wala  na, mas pinalalim pala sa pagdaan ng mga araw. 






love is indeed melts the pain that I felt.







I made a choice. 




I ended up my relationship with Sherwin.




umiyak siya.



nagmamakaawang wag kong iwan.






I cried.






nakikita ko sa mga mata niya ang sakit na naramdaman ko noon. 



pero alam niyang buong buhay ko si Migs lang minahal ko. 






its always been him. 





even if he betrayed me. 





even if he brings me so much pain. 





I still love him.









"I'm setting you free" mahinang usal niya.






I hugged him tight. 



for a moment, I felt happy. 




gusto kong isiping tama ang naging disisyon ko na pakawalan ang taong nagmamahal sakin ng tapat at sundin ang puso ko na iisang tao lang ang sinisigaw.

***

I WENT HOME.


hawak ang pag-asang makakasama ko siya. 




aaminin ko sa kanya na mahal na mahal ko siya at handa ko syang patawarin at bumalik sa buhay ko.











nagkita kami.



he hugged me tight.



he cried while hugging me saying sorry over and over again.





"Its okay now. I forgave you."





tinitigan ko mga mata niya.




I see sadness.










 why?






inulit niya ang paghingi ng tawad sa akin









paulit-ulit.













dumugo na nga ata tenga ko kasi un naririnig ko.







somehow, it fees good to know that he's sorry for what he did. lumuhod siya sa harap ko.











"why now?" usal nya.















nakita ko ang sakit sa mga mata niya. 





patuloy ang mga luhang dumadaloy sa mata niya. 





parang hindi na yata mauubos!





niyakap ulit ako.






he says he loves me a million times.









naiyak na din ako. 










pero nalito ako sa binitawan niyang salita.










"what do you mean 'why now' Migz?" tanong ko,















hindi siya nagsalita. 






tinitigan niya ako. 





tuloy pa rin ang pagtulo ng luha sakanyang mga mata. 











I've never seen him this weak. 





he's so strong and I don't think he can be this weak.








he looked down. 











took a deep breath and said.

"I'm getting married"














oh my. not now. not again!
hiling ng puso ko.









tinitigan ko ang kanyang mga mata. 




nais kong makumpirma kung totoo ang sinabi niya. 











lungkot at sakit ang nakita ko.








totoo ba? tanong ng isip ko.










hindi! tanggi naman ng puso ko.













dahan dahan akong bumitaw. 






parang tumigil sa pag-ikot ang mundo. 









napaatras ako.






isa,







dalawa,








limang hakbang...

tumakbo ako palayo. pakiramdam ko tumigil na din pati pintig ng puso ko.








life is so unfair!
































Araw ng kasal. 







umiiyak ako. 






ang sakit!. 











para akong pinatay sa ikalawang pagkakataon.












wala na ba akong karapatang sumaya?

















Hinayaan kong maubos ang luha ko sa araw na iyon. 






napapikit ako ng mariin pero mukha nya ang nakita ko. 

















sa ikalawang pagkakataon, nawasak ang puso ko....

































***

6 YEARS LATER

"Ang pag-ibig, parang tsinelas. kapag wala ung isa, walang saysay ang isa" - Lester


"Ang pag-ibig, parang araw at buwan. hindi man sila ang para sa isa't isa, balang araw, magkakasama din sila. gaya ng eclipse." - Kyra


"Loving someone you can't have is like being 50:50 comatose in a hospital. comfortably lying, but unconciously bleeding. softly sleeping, but silently hurting. continuously breathing, yet slowly dying." puno ngkapaitang wika ko.


"Defined moving on. I mean M-OV-I-N-G O-N dear" sawata ni Lester.


 "Girl tagal na yan og. ba't kasi hindi ka pa maghanap ng iba? para naman may gumamot na dyan sa puso mo." dugtong naman ni Kyra.


"I tried."



"Try harder!" - Lester insisted.



"Wala ding mangyayari." mahinang usal ko.


....


....





"sana di ko nalang siya nakilala."








"Define bitterness."- Kyra.


"Alam ko yan!" ani ni Lester. "un ung pag nakita mo silang magkasama, bigla mo nalang naisip na sana, nagdala ka ng bomba!"



tawanan ang dalawa. napangiti na din ako.







"puro kayo kalokohan. its time to work guys."
















IT'S BEEN 6 YEARS. 



masasabi ko na talagang naka-move on na ako. 



I've become a successful interior designer. 






nakapagpatayo na rin ako ng sarili kong shop. 





hindi ko din syempre kinalimutan ang hilig ko sa pagsusulat. 




I have my own page.





writing stories.




love stories.





kahit alam kong sarili kong buhay walang love life.











yes.











hindi ako nahanap ng taong makakatulong para makapag move on ng mabilis. 





time heal all wounds ika nga nila. 






I am not expecting that my life would have happy ending. 






masaya na akong nakakagawa ako ng kwentong may happy ending. 







yun nalang ang kumukompleto.














***




time check, 7:00pm. 




time to close the shop. 




tulong- tulong kami nina Kyra at Lester sa pagpapatakbo ng shop. 

may mga shops na din kaming nagkalat sa buong Metro Manila. 

so it was worth the sacrifices.









naglakad ako papunta sa kotse ko. 





medyo maaga pa. 




hindi pa din ako inaantok. 





ayoko din magsulat ngayon. 





mental block.







siguro pupunta muna ako sa isang bar.






mag unwind.







binuhay ko ang kotse.





tinahak ko ang daan papunta sa isang popular bar malapit sa shop - ang *toot* bar and Resto.






cozy, very relaxing. 





inikot ko ang tingin ko sa loob ng bar. 




malapit lang ito sa shop pero ngayon palang ako nakapasok dito. 






maganda pala. 








dumako ang mata ko sa katabi kong mesa.










the girl seems liberated. 





naka tube lang ito at miniskirt then a high heeled shoes. 





while her date has an authoritative look.




naka buusness suit ito.








kahit hindi pa niya nakikita ang mukha ng binata, nahihinuha niyang gwapo ito base na din sa kasama niyang dalaga.






"hmmm parang gusto kong gumawa ng kwento." naisaloob ko.







"A carefree young lady fall in-love into a tall, dark handsome business ma---"











lumingon ang lalaki sa dako ko.








just like me, 




shooked flooded on his handsome face at napalitan ng galit, 




then in a moment, 






kumislap ang  pananabik sa mata niya, 









then back to anger.











binalikan ko ulit ng tingin ang kasama niya.





 then back to his face.







"It's him!"
mahinang sigaw ng puso ko.







sinalubong ko ang titig niya. 




matagal.














I gave him my coldest stare bago konapagpasyahang tumayo at umalis.












I need to get out in that place as soon as possible!.






Nanginginig pa ang kamay ko habang pinapasok ang susi sa keyhole. 






hindi ko akalaing ganun pa din kalakas ang epekto niya sa akin. 







the moment i opened the door, someone pushed it and closed it. 












there he was. 









standing close to me.















"Migs."
















"I almost didn't recognize you. short dyed hair. i could say your pretty good in that hair."













our eyes met.














"You gave me a very strong personality back there."











"Please." putol ko.











hindi ko na kasi kayang tagalan pa ang mga titig niya. 








he moved even closer.









"K- Kailangn ko ng umalis."






"Mahabang panahon din tayong hindi nagkita. Akala ko matapang ka na, bakit parang kinakabahan ka pa?"






 "I have to go." matatag kong sabi.







I opened the door once again and closed it.







kinatok niya bintana ng kotse ko.






I opened it.












"Its been 6 years Cath, walking away from me again just like what you did before, sa tingin mo ba hahayaan ko pa un?"










speechless.


















pinihit ko ang ignition ng kotse at pinaharurot ko paalis sa lugat na iyon.









"Ang kapal ng mukha nya!" sigaw ko.







"Siya pa ngayon ang may karapatang magalit sa ginawa niya sa akin!? I hate you Migs! I hate you!..."


















"but I missed you." sabay tulo ng luha sa mga mata ko.














***





PAG-UWI KO, 









kumuha ako ng alak sa bar counter ng bahay. 







kailangan kong uminom. kailangan kong kalimutan ang gabing ito.










I took 1 shot,








2 shots.






3 shots.






hanggang sa lunurin na ako ng alak. 







hindi ko man lang napansing namumugto na ang mga mata ko sa kakaiyak. 







hanggang sa nakatulog na ako sa sala na lasing na lasing.













I had a dream. 









may bumuhat daw sa akin at dinala ako sa kwarto.








and in my dream, I opened my eyes and saw him smiled at me.









dahan- dahan niya akong ibinaba sa kama. 






then he walk towards the door.







"Please don't leave."









"Hindi ako aalis. kukuha lang ako ng mainit na tubig para mahimasmasan ka. I won't be long, I promise. go back to sleep. maya-maya, nandito na ulit ako."








"Di ako makapaniwalang hanggang sa panaginip makakasama kita Migs. I missed you. I missed you so much!"








"Close your eyes my princess. bukas, maaayos din ang lahat. pangako."





"I love you...so much.... I love you Migs. ikaw lang."





"I know. go back to sleep. nandito lang ako."










***






Kinaumagahan, nagising akong masakit ang ulo. 



parang pinupukpok sa sakit. 



tinawagan ko nalang si Kyra at sinabing hindi ako makakapasok ngayong araw. 








pikit mata pa rin ang mata ko habang papasok sa bathroom. 



binuksan ko ang cold shower at hinayaang kong maalis kahit kaunti ang sakit ng ulo ko.






mahaba- haba din ang itinagal ko sa banyo bago ako natapos. 




paglabas ko, bumungad sa akin ang amoy ng kape.








"hmmmm ang bango..."






pero teka, mag- isa lang ako sa bahay dahil umuwi ang mga kasam-bahay ko. 







kanino galing 'to?











"Makakatulong ang kape para sa sakit ng ulo mo. uminom ka na din ng gamot para sigurado." anang ng baritong tinig.






O_______O







what the..?













lumundag ang puso ko sa pagkagulat.











dahan - dahan akong lumingon sa pinanggalingan ng tinig.















there he was.









standing behind the door.











he walk slowly towards me.






tinitigan ako.








matagal.







parangminemorya niya ang mukha ko.













 he lift his hand to touch my face. 



the familiar touch kept me from moving. 



maging ng yakapin niya ako ng mahigpit, hindi ako kumilos. 






parang gusto ko tuloy umiyak dahil sa mga naipong hinanakit at sama ng loob sa nakalipas na anim na taon.







mga sugat sa puso ko na hindi pa pala naghihilom.








"I missed you." aniya habang pahigpit ng pahigpit ang kanyang yakap.







bigla namang pumasok sa utak ko ang pamilya niya.








ang asawa niya.



















marahan akong kumalas sa yakap niya. 





sinikap kong salubungin ang nagtatanung niyang mga mata. 






tumingin ako sa kanya at pilit tinatago ang tunay kong damdamin. 






I looked at him with a sudden coldnes in my eyes. 





pero alam ko ding hindi ko matatagalan ang titig niya.







so I turned around and walk inside the bathroom.






locked the door at marahang pinunasan ang mga luhang nag uunahang lumabas.


















nangyari na ulit ito noon....

















noong mga panahong wala pang ibang masasaktan pag tinanggap ko ulit siya at hindi pwedeng paglaruan niya ulit ako. 










hindi na ako makakapayag!











I dried my tears as I walk out the bathroom.








"Bakit ka nandito!?"



"Gusto kitang makausap."



"Bakit pa!? wala na tayong dapat pang pag-usapan!"



"Meron." matatag niyang wika.

"About us 6 years ago."




"Kalimutan mo na un! kinalimutan ko na un!"




"Did you?" puno ng sarkasmong turan niya









"Oo!"






"I've been waited for this moment to come Catherine at ako na ang kusang lumapit sa'yo kasi alam kong iiwas ka na naman. tatalikod just like what you did before." akusa pa niya.

"... and I'm not going to waste another six years para pag usapan ang mga bagay nadapat pinag usapan na natin noon."






"No! you said it yourself. six years! hindi pa ba sapat yun para kalimutan ang dapat nang kalimutan!?"





"Bakit ka umalis noon?" pagpapatuloy niya na parang hindi ako naririnig.





"Bakit ako umalis!? tanungin mo sa sarili mo kung bakit ako umalis Migs!"





"Sabi mo mahal mo ako. pero iniwan mo ako. hindi ka man lang nagpaalam."





"Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo!? gusto mong magpaalam ako para makita mo kung gaano ako nagpakatanga sa'yo? hindi ka pa ba masaya sa ginawa mo at gusto mong wasakin ang puso ko ng paulit-ulit? and now your asking me kung bakit ako umalis!?"










biglang lumambot ang expresyon ng mukha niya.






hinawakan niya ang kamay ko.






he pulled me closer to him.




hugged me tight.





gently caressing my back down to my waist.







then he said softly.










"hindi natuloy ang kasal. I back-out . I realized then that I can't live without you. ang isiping iba ang magigisnan ko pag gumising ako sa umaga pakiramdam ko mababaliw ako.....







....That  day, pinuntahan kita just to find out na umalis ka na. hindi nila sinabi kung saan ka nagpunta. I thought I'd died that day. iniwan mo ako. hindi ko alam kung paano pa sisimulan ang buhay ko ng hindi ka kasama. napagtanungan ko na lahat ng tao sa mundo pero walang makapagsabi kung nasaan ka.... 






....then your bestfriend talked to me. sinabi niyang sumama ka na kay Sherwin and you found your happiness with him. that's when I stoped searching...






..pinilit kong simulan ang buhay ko ng wala ka. I was very angry with you. nagtagumpay akong dala-dala ang galit sa dibdib ko." kumalas siya ng yakap at tintigan ako.







"Then 1 day I saw Sherwin with other girl and damn! the girl's pregnant. I confronted him. hinamon ko siya ng suntukan. akala ko nagtataksil siya  sayo. sabi niya, matagal ng putol ang ugnayan n'yo."






marahan niyang inalis ang basang buhok na tumatabing sa mukha ko. 











at nagpatuloy siya.







"That was the time that I asked someone to investigate your where abouts. nalaman ko lahat - lahat ng nangyari sa iyo for the past 6 years. nalaman ko ding walang ibang lalaking pumalit ng pwesto ko sa puso mo. nalaman ko iyon kagabi. I was so worried about you last night. you were so drunk at mag - isa. and you didn't lock your door. mabuti at sinundan kita. God, you have no idea how I've missed you. and I love you so much Catherine."






tumitig siya sa luhaang mata ko.






"I promise you this time,  hindi ko na hahayaang mawala ka pa."











di ko na alam kung ganu na karami ang luhang nailuha ko sa rebelasyon niyang yun. 







lumapit pa siya lalo. 





pinagdikit niya ang noo namin.







gently wiping my tears.






"Please stop crying. ayokong makikita ka pang umiiyak."







I closed my eyes as he moved a litle closer leaving only an inch betweeen our faces.





alam kong hahalikan niya ako so I welcomed his lips on mine.





lumapit ang mga labi namin.






hard and passionate kiss.













para bang walang bukas na darating. 










wala ng katapusan.









pero may naalala ako and pull myself away from him.














"Sino s'ya?" tanong ko.



"Who?"



"Ung kasama mo sa bar kagabi."



"Myra"



"And?"



"And??"



"I know that you know what I mean!"



"Amm..."



"Migs!"



"Okay! okay!" natatawang tugon niya at tinaas pa ang dalawang kamay bilang tanda ng pagsuko.



"She's a friend."



"A friend?" sabay taas ng kilay ko.



"Don't tell me hanggang ngayon selosa ka pa rin?"



"Why not? you're grown to be a playboy!"



"Ouch!" kunwaring nasaktang wika niya.






"GET OUT!"



"Hey!"



"I SAID GET OUT!"













"Paano? ee nakayakap ka pa sa akin?"





namula ako.



bumitaw ako sa pagkakayakap sakanya pero mas hinigpitan naman niya ang pagkakayap sa akin.








"I told you this time, hindi na kita pakakawalan."




"Bitawan mo nga ako!"







"Silly. Myra is a friend. at fiance siya ni Mark, you remember him? nagkatampuhan sila kagabi kaya nagpasama sa akin sa bar. walang ibang babaeng pumalit ng pwesto mo sa puso ko Cath. no one else. only you. always been you. do you trust me?"










tinitigan ko siya.







"Do you trust me?" ulit pa niya.












"Yes"






"Good. dahil kung hindi, ibibitin kita patiwarik hanggang sa maniwala ka sa akin."







"Ah ganun!?" he smiled and plant a small kiss at my forehead.




"Syempre hindi. ako nalang bibitin patiwarik kaysa ikaw."




"Yan. mabuti ng malinaw."




 pinihit niya ako paharap sa kanya and gently kiss my lips.

My Other Half is YOU ..

"I love you princess." he whispered.







"I love you too... my other half"








----End----

Huling Sayaw - Lyrics by Kamikazee Feat Kyla

Ito na ang ating huling sandali
Hindi na tayo magkakamali
Kasi wala ng bukas
Sulitin natin ito na ang wakas
Kailangan na yata nating umuwi

Hawakan mo aking kamay
Bago tayo maghiwalay
Lahat - lahat ibibigay
Lahat - lahat...

Paalam sa ating huling sayaw
May dulo pala ang langit
Kaya't sabay tayong bibitaw
Sa ating huling sayaw

Dinamalayan na malalim na ang gabi
(malalim na ang gabi)
Pero ayoko sanang magmadali(wag ka sanang magmadali)
Kay tamis, kay sarap
Ngunit ito na ang huli
Kaylangan na yata nating umuwi

Hawakan mo aking kamay
Bago tayo maghiwalay
Lahat - lahat ibibigay
Lahat - lahat...

Paalam sa ating huling sayaw
May dulo pala ang langit
Kaya't sabay tayong bibitaw
Sa ating huling sayaw

Paalam sa ating huling sayaw
May dulo pala ang langit
Kaya't sabay tayong bibitaw
Sa ating huling sayaw

Paalam sa ating huling sayaw
May dulo pala ang langit
Kaya't sabay tayong bibitaw
Sa ating huling sayaw

In-love with my Best Friend - Lyrics(Original)

I am here all alone
Trying to make up all the tears you gave to me
For the years we've spent, laughing and crying,
I don't know why I end up like this

* Now I know that loving you too much
can hurt me more

Chorus:
'Cause baby I'm in-love with you
Baby your the only one that
beats my heart so deeply
Baby I'm in-love with you
Touch me and hold me now
and say that you love me too, my best friend

II.
I am here all alone trying to hold on
Remembering myself that you're my best friend
For I know now that
when I told you what I feel you'll walk away
and never look back

Repeat * and Chorus
 
Baby I'm in-love with you
Touch me and hold me now
and say that you love me too, my best friend

Repeat Chorus

The Notebook: Genesis II

I shall noy promise you forever
because forever is too short a time for our love
so I shall but promise to love you each day and every year to come
I shall not expect of you to be gentle and loving
I shall not demand that you love me all the time
there shall always be forks on the road of life
and i shall not expect you to choose many road
If you should find yourself in-love with someone
you think is far worthly than me
I shall be forgiving of you and be greatful that once, you love me
But please do not allow your thoughts to linger on such things
For I shall strive w/ all the power w/ in me to be as loving, understanding, and kind as you expect me to be
Please don't expect too much of me
I may not give you rose everyday
but with every rose i gave goes all the love I could offer
let your thoughts dwell upon the happy times we spent together and let this thoughts grow upon your mind
Let not for one minute for such poison works quikly w/ the mind
I shall not be mind if you forget our anniversary
for people are but liable to forget
But please forgive me if within me I am hurt a little, just a little
For I am liable to pain too than you never forget
I shall not be too easy on you, as you not too easy from me
Put on the other, I will not be too hard
I shall then be fair as is proper
I shall not give you so much of myself for too much is too little, and too little seldom satisfies
You should therefore not give me too much of your self too
I shall be mostly thinking about you
And when we kiss it shall be our and ours alone
You must permit me to fight you sometime if only to let off steam
Then our making up shall not be too hard and we shall love each other all the more
I shall not be binder you from expressing opinions of me but shall not allow you to say them at any time or in any way you please
I too shall render you w/ some opinions but seing all the time i do not curse hurt
I promise to share with you my life if you would but promise the same
My sorrow and my failures shall be yours to share to ensure you do not fall into the same traps which i fell
But my happiness and joys and all my successes shal be a part of you to for it is to share such things.


_____________________________________
The moment I gave myself to you, I didn't get dissappointed, instead, I've found myself very lucky to have you!! and I hope you would stay beyond forever..
April 27, 2009

Loving and Letting Go

The last time we saw each other

You ask me, “Do you still love me?”

I just shrugged my shoulder and smiled,

As if saying “Yah! Do You?”

We talk, but the distance between us seem to widen

We no longer have our usual laughs,

Nor have comfort with our usual talks

I guess our personality have deepened

But perhaps you also feel my unspoken feelings

You understand the meaning behind my controlled emotion

Good! We’re intelligent enough to know we’ll count years

Before we’ll see each other again

Counting for the days, weeks and months

Within I can no longer hear your jokes that once made me bliss

Where in the consequences of certain things

Make me blue through days

But knowing that you still love me in your simple ways

I can stand waiting

Till the day we’ll know what our fate is…

Last Love Letter

Last Love Letter to the person i considered my soulmate…

When you come into my life, I told myself I would love you and never gonna hurt you…

You were my bestfriend, my love, my everything

‘Till one day, you came and said, “I’m sick, I’m afraid, I can’t stay with you any longer”

I refuse to believe you at first, but when i saw those tears fell down your cheeks, it spell out the truth about how you really feel inside, you were deeply hurt, yeah, I know.. I was hurt too..

You can’t even look straight into my eyes when you said,

“It was too late!..”

My life has change at that very moment..

I just saw my self on bended knees yelling…why?

I was down completely, but I had to be strong for you… at your worst.. | was there…

Until the day has come for us to say goodbye… I knew it, but I just can’t accept it…

If only i knew that was the last time, I should have held you and never let go.

The kiss, whisper, and embrace… It was the last… I can feel your arms falling down slowly, I know your gone.

We always thought our love was enough for us to last, it was a sad ending, its Gods will..

I know your happy now, wherever you are… and me, here I am hurting, broken.

Those fifteen long months its all gone now…how can I forget? how can I start over once again?

I’m sorry if you see my life falling apart… I know I can get you back and i wont seeing you for the rest of my life.

It’s more than a month now, this has been the longest month of my life, the most painful time I ever had…

The sadness of the night brings back the days we had, the time you let go of me, and the moment I surrendered you…

Even the silence reminds me of all the sorrows, the pain, and my hopelessness.

Let me suffer in silence, ’till I get over you, slowly, I can let you go and I will be me once again…

I will keeping my promise, I will move on but you will always be a part of me…

Hear me say this, one last time… ” I have found the essence of my life, I have discovered a world that’s beautiful because of you.”

My love, my misery… I’m letting go of you now.. It’s time to set myself free…

This is the hardest thing I will do, ’cause I still love you.. and this love this is all I Have…